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come as you are

By approach, UP, UP+love, writings

A good organizer knows that the fundamentals of base building teaches and guides us to recognize and understand we need all sorts of folks to participate in the change process. Successful organizing needs both the community member who comes to every meeting and takes leadership roles and the person, or warm body, who only shows up to actions and nothing else. Of course, the organizer pushes folks by way of creating opportunities for folks to take on more and more leadership roles and responsibilities but the good organizer never shames folks for not taking roles that are beyond their ability, comfort level, or choice.

UP’s Embodied Organizing: Effective Base Building Chart

Are these rich lessons from organizing translating in our movement cultures? By and large, yes and, often when the pressures of our toxic political environment reach an urgent point, we tend to fall into the crevices and some of us shift into a one trick pony stuck in fight mode. We’re seeing and virtually experiencing a lot of this during and post election day.

Technology is a massive form of how we communicate our thoughts and ideas and ultimately how we relate to one another. Exacerbated by a global pandemic, social media is a primary method of expression and how we reach folks. And, in these times of high stakes, it is both a gift and a curse. The ease in which folks post things that they would hesitate to or never directly express to people, well, that’s something to seriously reflect on, no? Because social media doesn’t require or leave much room for self-regulation especially because it both soothes and feeds our egos.

And here we find ourselves, forced to have chosen between two old white guys, to be the leader of our government, our country, us, neither of whom fully deserving to be the steward of our collective political, personal, financial wellbeing. For many of us in our movements, the dichotomies were absolute: fascist vs non fascist or 45 vs. not 45.

Once a winner was called, many of us reacted differently. Some celebrated, some continued to wince, some pushed to keep the work going, some did a combination of many things, and some critiqued those who were celebrating.

Nature is defined and made whole by contrast. As living beings, contrasts and duality are essential characteristics of humanity. Yet, like most things, culturally we push back on the nature of our beings, consciously or unconsciously, working to create mirror images of ourselves amongst those we’ve forged relationships with, creating this impossible metric to determine who’s on our side and who is not. Heterosexual men identified, tend to lean towards this more than others despite being among the minority of folks who make up our movements.

The coded messages behind the critiques of how folks reacted to the Biden/Harris win weren’t all that subtle. Regardless of the specificity of those critiques, most were a call to share a political identity, one that is unique to the particular person. But how are we defining and understanding our political identity?

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Liberation is not a point in the horizon, it is the horizon. How we achieve liberation requires many strategies and tactics, not one or some. If liberation is our collective movements’ end game, then how we assess political identities needs to be broad in the sense that it is made up of folks who are open and flexible to be moved.

A political identity with a baseline of love that centers dignity, our individual and collective right to be who we chose to be and be seen that way, that this love baseline is enveloped in equity and justice. There are beliefs and traits that ground political commonalities that can define collective political identities without imposing the condition that we must all think, feel, and act precisely the same way in order to be on the “right” side. After all is said and done, sadly, those with acute expectations of the latter may find themselves an army of one. And this will just not do, because we need each other. We need all of each other.

“…we find ourselves living in the chasm of the widening gap of the opposite trajectories of capitalism and humanity.”

So much of what we are fighting for is simple, natural, and logical. The right is extreme and has framed our movement work as radical. What we are fighting for is not radical. It is only convincingly radical (to some) because we find ourselves living in the chasm of the widening gap of the opposite trajectories of capitalism and humanity.

Basic healthcare is not radical, especially during a fucking global pandemic, it is humane.

Housing for all is not radical, it is humane.

Education is not radical, it is humane.

Migration, for whatever reason, is not radical, it is humane.

Working with a thriving wage is not radical, it is humane.

Equity and justice are not radical, they are humane.

The right to live and exist in absence of the fear and the actuality of being gunned down and murdered by public servants is not radical, it is humane.

Can our collective truths be, like in effective grassroots organizing, that we need the people who celebrate, big and small victories? Because we do. We need the folks who call upon us to keep pushing because there is more work to be done. We need the folks who will challenge us to hold the line of what we value the most. And, yes, we need the folks who critique us but without attaching shame to those critiques. We need all these contrasts to work towards our collective goals and liberation.

We need all of us so come as you are.

a cataclysm of love

By UP, UP+love, writings

Humanity needs a mantra. One that we can chant together, that reverberates across the chambers of power in this country and the world. The collective sound of our love and truth that drives out white supremacy from our society, replacing it with the deep knowing that we need each other. We need all of each other. We need a mantra that makes plain that liberation is not a point on the horizon, that only a select few can reach, but liberation is the horizon. It is the only path forward.

We need our collective love to be so intense that every growth burst of that love, every iteration of it, destroys the social and economic constructs that divides us.

Because our society is sick- in every definition of the word and in as many stretches of our imagination as we can think of.

We are sick. Broken: emotionally; spiritually; and physically. And we are deeply heartbroken.

Like our physical bodies, when our society is attacked by an illness of hate, fear, and/or grief, it infects and sickens the entire system. Often, when the sickness is serious enough, or not addressed and healed, our bodies are more at risk of being attacked by other illnesses. Like any virulent illness, the body of our society is susceptible to other infections that further strain our immune system.

The current president, we call him 45, is an opportunistic infection that our already sick society has contracted because we are not healed and have not addressed what has ailed as for so, so long.

The heart of our society, the mirror of truth, is often darkened with the soot of our lies, our greed, our fears, our grief, all frequently sourced in societal constructs that constantly tell us falsehoods about who we are and who we should be.

Lies.

We live in a time where the lie is king.

To date, in just under 700 days in office, 45 has lied in public statements almost 7,000 times. The greater lie 45 relies on, that frames all his other lies, is a historic lie- white supremacy.

Throughout the history of modern civilisation, the white man has wielded incomprehensible violence to subjugate those they have felt inferior to- women, children, people of colour, animals, the earth, and even themselves when the opportunity suited.

There is a Nigerian proverb that says, “a tiger does not need to boast that it is a tiger.” White supremacy is King Joffrey, of Game of Thrones, perpetually screaming, “I’m the king” and, in one scene, being cut down by his grandfather, Tywin Lannister, who reminds him that a true king does not feel the need to repeatedly remind folks that he is king.

Like King Joffrey, white supremacy went around the world, pillaging, raping, and destroying, all the while repeating the white man’s burden to civilise the savages of the world. And, even more like King Joffrey, white supremacy is just a mask of inadequacy, hiding the deeper truth underneath the veil, of white fragility.

“God bless America!” this phrase has been a staple in presidential speeches and in politics since Richard Nixon and, more commonly popularized, by Ronald Reagan in the 1980’s. The God strategy- God loves America the best and Americans (those from the United States) are God’s chosen people for blessings. America is the greatest land in all of the world. She is the land of the brave! Americans are the greatest people in all of the world and the known universe, dammit! No country and no peoples are good enough for God’s blessings than America and Americans.

In this singular maneuver to distinguish the greatness and exceptionalism of America and other the global populace, it simultaneously others the very people it is meant to elevate by creating an untenable facade of what it means to be an American.

Americans should ask themselves: Do you feel like you’re the greatest? Do you feel like you are the best in the whole world? Do you think the 36% of the voting populace in this country, who are die-hard trumpeters, really feel like they are the best, superior to all others?

Is 45 not the psychological personification of white fragility- the inability to live up to the hype of grotesque and deeply skewed systemic and institutionalized privilege despite how that should effortlessly shape success?

“I’m the best.” “No one can do it except for me.”

His very existence is history-making. But does 45 truly feel like he’s the greatest? He’s an epic failure, in every aspect of his life, despite inheriting wealth and property and despite walking this earth as an elitist, white man. It is not a far reach to imagine, at night, when the lights are out and all is silent, that there is a voice reminding him that he is not who he is supposed to be. A voice saying, “You will never be good enough.”

White supremacy is a cancer of our humanity that persists not merely because white people exist but because white supremacy tells the lie of supremacy over all beings and things. And white fragility persists because, if white people feel inadequate, there must be others to look down upon, to other, to make inferior, so as to dissipate the true nature of the white man’s feelings about himself- that he is not enough.

And white fragility, a multi-strain virus, is wanting to be the best and knowing you are nowhere near that. White fragility is the 36% of Americans who finally have someone who is giving them visibility and saying the things that have been burning in their chests for so long. Someone who sees them and only them. Because institutional white supremacy disappears white people.

Centering whiteness deeply corrodes the bodies and psyches of white people on a cellular level. It has to, in order to spread its contagion. White supremacy preaches that non-white is a problem and it is this very philosophy that offers the cure and the ultimate death of white supremacy.

If we exemplify the colonial, white-centering patterns in which politicians and the media talk about poverty and those in need, we only see non-white folks. When we hear or see the welfare queen, we see Black women and other women of color, despite the largest demographic requiring public assistance is the white, single-parent woman. Sometimes, we even see and hear of folks suffering and in need, and often, these are also non-white faces. This is the disease of white supremacy in action and it disappears the larger population of working class and poor white people.

We other because we feel othered. Whiteness requires contrast, difference, and othering. It cannot exist without it and so it seeks it out. And while white supremacy others all non-white folk, it simultaneously others white people.

How can all that’s happening in this country be seen as God’s blessing? Whether you tell yourself you care or you do not care, the atrocities to immigrants and children, the continued and sustained attacks on our Black communities, does have an effect on you, your psyche, your humanity, your soul. The effects show up in mass shootings, in misogyny, in patriarchy, in racism. It impacts you. It impacts all of us because it’s all rooted in the same thing, the same system, the one collective body of our society.

If Fredrick Douglas was right in saying, “there is no progress without struggle”, then we are living in a golden era of the possibility of the kind of material changes, the antidote to our illnesses, we have been seeking for decades.

While hate may be a highly contagious pathogen, we are all grieving our collective inability to truly nurture and take care of our basic needs.  And, if we lived in a society where loving oneself was easy to come by, we would not have so much time to hate ourselves and each other. We just wouldn’t need to.

We could use a cataclysm of love. That collective love that obliterates the virulent illnesses and opportunistic infections ailing society. An awakening that only love can catalyze in which we realize the hypocrisy of our differences. A love transformation that, makes clear, answers to questions we have failed to ask collectively. Love that makes visible the grief under the masks of anger, hate, and fear.

We could use a collective mantra that reminds us that healing and love is the natural center of gravity of who we are. A mantra that reminds us that none of us can fully be who we can be on the backs and suffering of others. A mantra that echoes our joyous truths.

We could use a mantra for all of humanity: we are infinite oneness.

strategies for self-care

By approach, Practice, self-care, UP+love, writings

surviving + thriving

(re)focus

let there be no more doubt… the white supremacy agenda is in full effect, out in the open, and in our faces. what we all need to recognize is that there are #NoSidelines.

while our work seeks to uplift and change the material conditions for ourselves and our people, ultimately seeking to remove the “otherness” label all disenfranchised and people of colour are identified with, we continue to move the focus from ourselves and our wellbeing to the sidelines of our lives and work, with the false perception and understanding, that the work actually needs us to do this.

no. no more.

it’s time to (re)focus.

#NoSidelines is not just about where one falls on any given issue, either by virtue of action or inaction. it speaks to a greater struggle of centering ourselves in our work instead of the capitalistic philosophy of solely centering our labour at the expense of all things. this is the default of too many of us and it simply robs us of choice and power.

the expression of our deepest beliefs, values, and principles in what we say, do, and how we interact with ourselves and each other does not require self-sacrifice and masochistic behavior to be effective and impactful. rather, efficiency and impact is a result of centering ourselves and our wellbeing in what we do because it places our focus on our humanity so it acutely aligns with the work we do in the world. adding more suffering to the existing suffering of our communities is not a methodology of healing, so why do it?

in organizing, effective and authentic community work always keeps the focus on those directly affected, even when the external pressure and the power of our opponents are overwhelming. adopting the most impactful philosophies and methodologies of organizing in how we focus ourselves, our wellbeing, and each other will serve as a grounding in this offering of strategies for self-care.

getting real about self-care

like most things, the more something becomes well-known, the more its true meaning and purpose becomes skewed and watered-down. no real judgement here, just a move towards some aligned understanding of how self-care is defined for the purposes of this guide.

over the last couple of years, self-care has shown up as a hashtag on posts sharing the rare occasions folks have gone to watch a movie, had dinner with friends, or when they have indulged in a mani-pedi. all good… these activities are great and necessary. what they are not, as a stand-alone event, is self-care.

self-care is a practice. a regular practice. an intentional activity we engage in that is grounded in purpose that actually results in something real and measurable. what the results and impact are, is wholly up to you to define.

for this guide and for these times, self-care is an intentional, regular practice that seeks to fortify the individual.

reset + fortify

whether you are on the frontlines and/or directly affected by the growing attacks on disenfranchised communities and people of colour, if you hold true the need for social, political, economic, and environmental equity and liberation for all peoples regardless of race, class, sexuality, or gender, you realise and believe that an attack on one of us is an attack on all of us. while the real-life impact varies, the trauma and hurt on our somas is real whether we are cognizant of it or not. all of us require a daily reset that allows us to (re)connect to our deeper purpose and that which brings us joy and meaning to our lives.

here are some pro-tips on resetting and fortifying ourselves for the long road ahead:

  • identify + lean into choice: everything we do and do not do is a choice even in urgency and times where we feel like we “have to” take action. by orienting to actions as clear, intentional choice, we empower ourselves rather than become subject to what we feel must be done.
  • center yourself + your leadership: if we can hold ourselves in the center of gravity for what we do, we can uphold our humanity and dignity rather than the work itself. doing this is more aligned with the kind of world we are working to create.
  • it’s a marathon not a sprint: meaningful, long-lasting change takes time to break the threshold of current societal patterns and be sustained towards collective embodiment. no matter how much we work or how much we sacrifice, we will not reach our goals in the short term. we must fortify ourselves for the long haul and prevent burnout.
  • lead by example + inspire grounded action: energy is contagious… cross-species contagious. the more grounded and centered you are, the more you will inspire others, from your mere presence. if you desire others to cultivate their leadership to be more balanced and mindful, it’s only logical that you chose to do it yourself.
  • resets are necessary: like a reboot for a frozen computer or device, resets are necessary to move forward and inherently entails a risk or a letting go of something that may be hard to detach from. each of us need a daily reset to re-energize and connect to our deeper purpose, love, and joy.
  • intention + commitment: harnessing your intention to stay committed to yourself, your humanity, your personal leadership, will be a critical way in which you can continuously stay in choice and in your power.
self-care do's

theoretical shit is all nice and what not, but how do you actually practice self-care? sometimes we need some hints or a few practices to begin with to get the practice joints juiced and flowing. here are a few practices that are great launching pads for easily cultivating daily self-care practices:

  • 5-minute meditation– meditation is scientifically proven to sharpen your focus and increase wellbeing as well as dramatically enhance your mood. five minutes a day, regularly, is all you need to reap the vast benefits of this powerful mindfulness practice. check out this how-to video, “mind the gap”.
  • journaling– a daily practice that is aimed at expressing the emotions that have come up during the day. a practice that allows you to track and release the moments and events from the day, including interactions with people, so you may release it from your system and emerge from the day without any extra baggage. journaling can be in the form of writing, video, audio, and/or art.
  • movement-based exercise: move your body! take a walk or a run or spend 15 minutes moving to your fave music. trauma lives in the body and you cannot think or will it out of your system. you must move to expel it (among many other things).
  • stay hydrated + well fed: when emotions are generated in our systems, our bodies are quick to process it and then seeks to expel it with some sort of a release. our cultures continue to shape us to ignore, overlook, and/or numb ourselves out from this releasing process, leaving toxins in our bodies. drink a lot of water and pee those toxins out! eat on a schedule and eat often. set yourself up to succeed and set a timer for meals. your body cannot survive without food and water.
  • siesta time: guess what? just like food and water, you need sleep to survive. a 10-minute power nap (30 minutes is ideal) can save lives, beginning with your own. too many folks are suffering from sleepless nights and especially for those missing sleep, carving out a time for siesta will be vital to the mind, body, and spirit. set a daily alarm for 30 minutes between the hours of 1:00 to 4:00pm and get your nap on.
  • in the moment: when things pile up and you are on the brink or deep in the midst of a trigger, take 3-5 deep breaths AND go for a walk, placing and returning your attention to your breath and steps.
  • listen to your fave booty-shaking music: music heals and can uplift us when we really need it. make a playlist of your favorite songs and arm yourself with it for easy access and use. sing out loud and dance like no one’s looking. let the beat and the words fill you and reclaim the energy and joy that fuels your life.
  • use a mantra: one of the fastest ways to change is by changing what we think. think of the vision that you have for yourself and imagine that you have done all the work required to be the embodiment of that vision. now, create an “I am” statement, short and sweet, that represents that vision, to create your mantra. repeat your mantra 3 times before any interactions and before any act of leadership throughout the day, each time invoking your vision and grounding yourself in the vision of your desired leadership.
  • give + get hugs: humans need human contact. hugs release endorphins and bring content and happiness with each embrace. practice a centered hug (heart to heart hug with 3 synchronized, deep breaths together). please do be in choice and precede hugs by asking for permission (“may I give you a hug”). and remember, no is a very acceptable answer. if you get a no, don’t take it personally but instead celebrate that you and the other person stand in your own power and choice.
  • choose your own practice: any practice that allows you to express and release the day’s emotions and events is a good daily practice. integrating 10-30 minutes to practice self-care that aims to reset and fortify should be required work for all of us.
  • infinite second chances: you only fail if you don’t try again. give yourself infinite second changes to begin anew if you stumble with your practice(s).
self-care don'ts

trauma creates a riff and disruption in our patterns, somewhat similarly to change work. it’s easy to slip into anesthetizing patterns that seem to offer quick, numbing relief from what aches us deep in our hearts. here are a few things to avoid, especially as daily practices/occurrences:

  • alcohol + sugary drinks: alcohol and trauma just don’t mix well together. alcohol contains a high level of sugar that can make you feel physically sick and will disrupt sleep. as much as you can, avoid daily alcohol consumption and other sugary drinks in favor of water.
  • seeking targets: hurt people hurt people, yea? it’s part of our make-up to seek to understand when things aren’t right. often, the less practiced and grounded person, will seek to find targets to lay blame on. and the safest targets are our own people. we need to take care of each other right now and blanket attacks on movement leaders, ourselves, and each other only furthers the trauma and hurt.
  • isolation: as stated above, humans require human contact. isolation can do serious psychological harm and further deepens and creates trauma. stay connected to people in your community. agree to keep conversations light and positive. meet in person or chat it up on phone/video. daily contact is ideal but definitely don’t go more than a week without connecting with someone you care about.
  • intake of news + social media: overload of either will surely bring you down. headlines and news are psychologically crafted to scare us to grab and maintain our attention. too much is certainly toxic and is designed to rob you of your center and ground. each news cycle repeats news from the past cycle. chose a time of day, preferably later in the day, to catch up on the day’s event, limiting your reading/watching to about an hour.
  • traumatic times is not the best time to change hearts + minds: avoid engaging with folks who just don’t get it, especially now while the wounds of trauma are heighten. when you are fortified, grounded, and ready, seek those battles out if you so chose. seeking the understanding of folks who require debate and argument will only serve to hurt and traumatize your more.
  • anything else: you know all the tricks you employ that do not serve you. you also know all the ways in which you need to be to set yourself up to succeed and stay fortified and fired up for the long fight ahead of us all. know how you set yourself up to fail and know how you set yourself up to succeed. chose and act accordingly.

finally, like most things in life, having a plan and a support system makes achieving our goals more possible. download this worksheet to chart your self-care practice towards a more fortified you.

meditation is life

By #30DaysUP, Leadership Dev.

Meditation. It’s been like getting to know an old friend who I haven’t seen in awhile. My mind, my body, my spirit, I find sometimes wishes that it was all I did do most days. Alas, like all things, I simply settle for carving out increasing increments of my new found sitting pra

ctice and it has worked wonders in my life. I appreciate it so much I compassionately try not to starve myself of its magic on a daily basis whether it’s at home, on the train, or on a walk.

Before I was introduced to this practice in the words of Rusia I was, “vomiting my rage” all over the place. Most days I didn’t understand why I was doing it or why I was so easily triggered until I began to reflect on my shape.  The reality was that I did know where the sources of my junk stemmed from and it was time to begin to let a lot of that go.

Meditation has allowed me to calm the racing thoughts that always seem to be buzzing around in my head. It allowed me to see where in my body trauma was still being held and how to incorporate supporting practices that would help me to release a lot of the junk that tends to hold u

s back. I learned to breathe. I mean really breathe. You know, that breath that enters and fills your whole body that leaves you feeling wavy, a natural high.

When I do miss a sit I can feel the difference starting with how I mentally orient to the day. My thoughts will tend to lean more on the cynical side rather than being able to see the options that are available in front of me. When I miss a sit, I can feel the aggression seeping from my pores and my body is poised, ready for confrontation, instead of being able to take a step back and shrug it off. When I miss a sit, I realize that an obstacle that is trying to knock me off my foundation will get more energy from me when I should be walking away giving it none of my power.

Being in practiced as allowed me to see how other people show up and when I find myself laughing at an outburst it’s, because I see old me sometimes, and I realize that what is being thrown my way has nothing to do with me, but something they are internally dealing or not dealing with. I’ve learned it’s not personal, but I’ve also learned not internalize other folk’s issues that they may be dealing with. Meditation has also helped me navigate other people’s energy that for an introverted extrovert can feel not only mentally overwhelming, but physically as well. It’s a practice that reminds me every day that self-love and care is not and indulgence it is undeniably necessary and revolutionary.

The understanding that this will be a lifelong process isn’t scary to me if anything I find that I am running towards it with a ferocity that I often need to remind myself that it’s oki and I am where I need to be in this moment. I am reminded that every intentional choice, relationship, and internal growth is slowly but surely leading me to where I need to go next. I have learned to trust, be compassionate, extend love in a way that is true to my being so that I may move from that place of intentionality.  I have also learned to accepts truths when they are presented to me even when it may not be the words I necessarily want to hear but need to. I have accepted all the pieces that make up who I am and why they are important. I understand that in this moment I embrace change in all its forms and it has allowed me to cultivate more joy, more acceptance, and for more healing to take root in my life.

In the end it’s a choice. I decided that I wasn’t going to deny myself what I deserved and in order to get there I made the choice to step forward and put in the work necessary. It’s oki if I am afraid, it is a natural feeling, its when I choose to be brave and fight against that fear that I come out renewed each time on the other side. I only have this one mind, this one body, my one spirit and I chose to honor her in ways that allow light to shine through even when its hard. There’s nothing that I can say that I regret, but chose to learn from. I own my part, I recognize others part, and I move on. Trust me when I say it doesn’t mean you’re like a bed of roses all the time, hell no, that ain’t realistic. But I find instead of getting angry at myself when I fall off I am reminded it’s cool, reset, start over, every moment is a new moment to recognize what came up and begin again.

Meditation. It’s been a longtime friend of mine now and its one of the best friendships that I could have made for self and in turn others.