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#30DaysUP Day 10: agitation is my friend

By January 17, 2015August 24th, 2016#30DaysUP

#30DaysUP Day 10: agitation is my friend
so many discoveries leading up to, into, + after my early sit today.

typically, i prefer to sit in the evenings but today, something triggered some deep feelings of agitation + I decided to sit early.

too many lessons today, before, during, + after my meditation, peeling away to a deeper understand of myself. most notable is the cunningness of my ego as it lives in that almond shaped part of my brain, known as the amygdala.

i realized that agitation is my friend. in fact, a variety of energy, that is reactive + ultimately does not serve me or my leadership, is my closest + dearest friends. they tell me that i am off center. they scream to me that my intentional groundings are no longer supporting + motivating my actions. and now, i can discern, with keen awareness, when they are alive + pulsating within my soma. they intensely pulsate in various places in my body, telling that i am off my purpose + am navigating without the grounding I continuously cultivate for myself. and so, the agitation I felt this morning is my friend, reminding me that I am not as I want to be + that I best chose to do something about it.

so I sat.

during my sit, i caught myself squinting again. as the jaw has released, the squinting has begun + the why has pleasantly revealed itself as well. each time I am in a rhythm, my ego seeks to reassert itself, + i begin to squint as my attention bifurcates. in these moments, my ego tricks me into thinking that i am still on point when, in actuality, I am not.

the point is simple + multifold… all these things about ourselves that we attach morality to, that this is bad or i do this and it’s dope, it’s all just information. data. what I chose to do with the data is what it key. while my ego takes me off the point during my sit, it also offers a physical indicator to let me know I am doing what I am doing. it’s only unconscious if I am not cultivating a practice to truly know myself.

what is generated inside of me, for me, can be transformed to benefit me if I only pay attention.

Photo Credit: “Mystic” by Rusia N. Mohiuddin

Rusia Mohiuddin

Author Rusia Mohiuddin

Rusia is the Principal of Universal Partnership. She has been doing work in our movements, in various capacities, for nearly 30 years. At the heart of Rusia's work is the core belief that "changing you IS changing the world."

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